By Femi Aribisala
Six times at the beginning of creation, God surveyed his works and declared it was good. But after he created man, his positive assessment went up another notch: “Then God saw everything that he had made, and indeed it was very good.” (Genesis 1:31).
But soon thereafter, there emerged a seeming contradiction: “The Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18).
How did something he said was “very good” suddenly become “not good?” Did God suddenly realise as an afterthought that it is not good for man to be alone? If it is not good for man to be alone, why did God create man alone? Why was Eve not created from the beginning? Did God make a mistake?
God is omnipotent, nevertheless, we all know there are many things he cannot make. One of them is a mistake. So why was Eve not created separate from Adam from the beginning? Did God only realise it much later that Adam needed a wife?
The truth is that the man Adam was not supposed to have a wife. Adam was created as part and parcel of a family already in existent; the family of God. God was with man, so man was not alone. Adam was supposed to be single but married to God. All the companionship Adam required was supposed to come from God, the intended “husband” of Adam: “For your maker is your husband; the LORD of hosts is his name.” (Isaiah 54:5).
Jesus taught us to pray to God: “Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” (Matthew 6:10). The original or blueprint of everything is in heaven. The copies and the counterfeits are on earth. According to Jesus, the will of God is that everything on earth should be done according to the pattern in heaven.
The writer of Hebrews says: “This is why Moses was warned when he was about to build the tabernacle: ‘See to it that you make everything according to the pattern shown you on the mountain.’” (Hebrews 8:5).
In the kingdom of God, sons of God neither marry nor are they given in marriage. When asked whose wife a woman who had seven husbands on earth would be in heaven, Jesus says: “Marriage is for people here on earth, but when those who are counted worthy of being raised from the dead get to heaven, they do not marry.” (Luke 20:34-35).
Not God’s Will
Human marriage is not the original will of God. When God created man, what he envisaged is a marriage between God and man. Therefore, the man he created was man and woman together in one body. The will of God is for all men (men and women) to be married to his son, Jesus. Jesus himself acknowledges this. He says: “The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son.” (Matthew 22:2).
God says in Hosea: “I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion.” (Hosea 2:19). Paul says to believers: “I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him.” (2 Corinthians 11:2).
Jesus is the bridegroom espoused to a bride. He acknowledges this himself. When the disciples of John the Baptist came to him to ask why his disciples did not fast habitually, Jesus answered: “How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them? The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will fast.” (Matthew 9:15).
Therefore, Jesus’ doctrine expresses his jealousy. He berates the Jews as: “A wicked and adulterous generation.” (Matthew 12:39). Jesus shows little regard for natural and earthly relationships. At every opportunity, he asserts the saliency of the spiritual relationship. He says: “That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.” (John 3:6).
In Jesus’ doctrine, relationships should be based on the spiritual connection. When told that his mother and brothers were looking for him, he asked: “‘Who is my mother and who are my brothers?’ And he stretched out his hand toward his disciples and said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.’” (Matthew 12:48-50).
For Jesus, obedience is thicker than blood. As a matter of fact, he says: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters – yes, even his own life- he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26).
Single But Married
In effect, the popular Christian notion that when God said: “It is not good for man to be alone,” he was talking about man’s need for a wife is highly mistaken. Man does not need a wife. What man needs is God and God alone. When God said: “It is not good for man to be alone,” he was not talking to male man. He was talking to Adam, who at this time was a human hermaphrodite: he was male and female combined.
Moses says: “God created man in his own image; in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27-28). “When God created man, he made him in the likeness of God. He created them male and female and blessed them. And when they were created, he called them ‘man.’” (Genesis 5:1-2).
Thus, Pope John Paul 2 said: “When God-Yahweh speaks the words about solitude, it is in reference to the solitude of “man” as such, and not just to that of the male.” Adam’s solitude or loneliness was not caused by the lack of woman. It was caused by his carnality. Like Israel who rejected God and insisted on having a king, Adam sought companionship in flesh and not in spirit. He desired someone that is bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh. (Genesis 2:23).
Adam did not understand that he who is with God is not alone and should not feel alone. Indeed, he who has God has a friend that sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24). The everlasting promise of God to man is: “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Joshua 1:5). Jesus repeats this. He says to his disciples on his resurrection: “Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20).
God is man’s first love. God is our husband. As long as we have God, we are not alone. Jeremiah says: “‘Return, faithless people,’ declares the Lord, ‘for I am your husband.’” (Jeremiah 3:14). Isaiah says: “As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.” (Isaiah 62:5).
Man does not find completion in woman or in marriage. Neither does woman find completion in man. But “we are complete in him, (Jesus Christ) who is the head of all principality and power.” (Colossians 2:10). The reason is simple: “Christ is all, and is in all.” (Colossians 3:11).