By Fada Oluoma
She sauntered into my office with a mixture of anxiety and expectation that gaged the gaiety of her steps. Her sight didn’t bequeath me any surprise, I was only teased by the impatient curiosity harassing my mind. The niceties over, we got down to business. Long story short, she was in love with a guy, they were convinced, more than Einstein was of the theory of relativity, that they were destined to marry each other. I knew better than to stand before two young people ‘madly in love’. It would be easier to convince a medieval Christian that the devil is neither black nor white, male or female. This lady came to look for my ‘anointed approval’, I wasn’t fooled by the pretense of seeking a counsel. I REFUSED. well, priests actually don’t give approval to marriages, the law of the church does. Yes, but I declined.
Her Genotype is AS and the guy she seeks to marry is AS. Medical science and experience have proven that the risk of their SS children from such union is too high for caution. If you have seen a sickler before, you will understand, the agony and misery for everyone in the family are not something to gamble about.
Oh, she gave me very convincing, yet subjective, reasons why they should be encouraged to marry. She said there’s a medical possibility of avoiding sickler, she mentioned faith in God and miracle.
She said she’s heard of men of God who prayed for AS person’s and their genotype changed to AA or AB. Well, you guys know me, though I believe in miracles and have seen, but I don’t fall for swashbuckling tales of dubious or deluded men of miracles. I told her to wait let God change their genotype first, I promised to be part of her prayer warriors for this miracle, and I meant it, but I wasn’t gonna presume.
Her final argument is that they are in love, since they are in love, they deserve to marry.
Have I told you guys before? Falling in love is not the origin and primary reason for marriage. We don’t marry bc we are in love. People fall in love and stand up later, some fall out of it. If people were allowed to marry anyone they fall in love with, some guys should be married to 20 women now and some women should be married to 10 men( my statistics were deliberately forced to favor women ). I told her that the 2 major reasons for the origin of marriage, according to Genesis are: 1.” it’s not good for the man to be alone, I’ll make him a helper fit for him.”(Gen 2:18). 2: ” then the man said:”this at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh”(Gen 2:23). Lovers of AS genotype are not helpmates FIT for each other.
“Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh” reads COMPATIBILITY to me, the idea of compatibility presupposes DIFFERENCE. AS and AS ain’t different. More importantly, as I rounded my argument before her majesty in love, the good of children is one of the objectives of marriage. Just like abortion is considered bad from the point of view of the child, regardless of the emotion, choice and convenience of the pregnant individual. This same principle should apply to this AS + AS issue. It doesn’t sound just to sacrifice the well being of children for the “emotional coupling” of the love birds. It’s better to suffer a period of emotional turmoil and pain from a neccesary break up than a lifetime of physiological misery and agony by children. I dropped my gavel.
Of course there was an unsettling silence, I seemed to have mercilessly punctured her balloon of optimism. I really felt for her, at that point I wished I could ‘unsay’ everything I said, I wished I could have told her to go on with the marriage, that a miracle was on her way, that all she needed was to sow a provocative seed genotype miracle, I just wished. Painfully, I couldn’t, she knew I wasn’t gonna change. We prayed, I encouraged her to make the sacrifice. She left eventually, I drifted into thoughts.
So, here is the deal: as far as genotype is concerned, the biggest miracle from God now is the revelation we have. When we hadn’t TGE medical knowledge and technology of genotype, sickle cell was seen as demonic attacks and spiritual problem. Until we get a cure, prevention remains the miracle. Please, if you have fallen in love with AS person and you are AS, please fall out of that love. If you find it it difficult to fall in love with another person with a different genotype, I’m more than willing to help you with a push. This is the Genesis and Genotype of marriage.